Saturday, February 16, 2013

Love/Hate Letter to Technology

An Ode to my Computer:

Dear Computer,
You may be a beautiful creature right now,
Shimmering in the light of the 11pm moon,
But I'm so freaking pissed at you,
Because I'm typing on you at 11pm,
When I should be asleep in the den*
Just though you should know,
That this paper should have been done two hours ago.
But you screwed it all up,
Quitting out of the program,
And now my dear friend,
I want to bash your head in**,
(not really of course,
But you must understand,
I haven't the patience at 11pm)
Please understand,
I guess it's not your fault,
But really, oh really, just when I thought I was done
You said, "nope, I think we've only begun!"
So you quick-ended my program, 
Shut yourself down,
And prepared yourself for a night on the town,
Complete with me, screaming my head off,
Because dear computer, it was only a matter of time,
And so please understand,
That when I dedicate this post to you:
It's a delicate, refined hint
To get you "stuff" together,
Don't quit out of my two-hundred page paper
Or I'll be pissed.
Even more than I was, last time.

*= I don't actually sleep in the den. We don't have a den. That just rhymed.
**= That sounded really violent. I apologize for the uncalled violence. 


You know how you think you saved something on a storage website, but then it didn't totally save or something, so you don't have it. And it's due in 15 minutes. But you saved it on a USB! Well, the USB isn't responding to the computer! And you saved it in Word 2001, so when you go to open it on a fancy-shmancy-new computer it won't open...
This always happens to me on Fridays, because our printer always breaks on Friday. It's a thing.

I have a new camera! Oh wait, it's already outdated. 

 Whenever I write a story, I change the name of the main character a hundred times.
I had to write a 20 page paper, and when I turned in the final draft, I realized that I hadn't stayed consistant in my names, and so my teacher made me re-write it. And fix all the grammar mistakes.
It took a long time (yeah, Sherlock, I'm sure you already figured that out...)
 My heartfelt letter of selfishness- JUST MAKE IT EASIER FOR ME.
 You know, computers are actually (!) really helpful. I just think there's some sort of evil being living in mine, whose sole purpose in life it to torture me. 
I think his name is Frederick.

More later eventually,


1 comment:

  1. Haha! Love this!



Got a comment?