Thursday, January 24, 2013

Girl Scout much?

Technically, I was never a Girl Scout. I quit after being a Brownie, to the surface despair of my mom, who happened to be our troop leader (she was coerced into it, by a well-meaning friend). My mom is a trooper, but you can't really blame her for secretly being happy I quit, after my friends and I frolicked in the mud by a lake one day, on a camping trip, and later discovered it was goose poop... That was a lotta laundry... and the cabins didn't smell too great afterward...

Really, despite that experience, I had a pretty awesome "Brownie" experience. For me, being a Brownie ment going to a meeting once a week where my friends and I wanted to giggle and run around, like maniacs, all we wanted, while drinking apple juice...
Also, roughly once every two months we got to go on a camping trip (though, we didn't go on quite as many after the goose-poop incident), where we frolicked in the woods, and ate s'mores after dinner...

So why'd I quit? The cookie season.



Until about two years ago, I was painfully shy. It wasn't so bad selling the cookies though, because no one really turns down Girl Scout cookies. Except the woman who had her weight-loss coach over while we were there (she asked me to come back in an hour or two though, and bought 13 boxes)...




but delivering (apparently Blogger doesn't have that medieval creepy looking font that would perfectly illustrate my thought, so I'll have to go with italics here)  the cookies?

Seriously, talk about tough... no really, just kidding. I'm very lucky that in 1st-4th grade the toughest thing in my life was delivering cookies for Girl Scouts (actually, I had to deal with tougher stuff, but you know what I mean).
But seriously, if you plan having a daughter in Girl Scouts one day (or a boy in Boy Scouts, though I don't know entirely how that works...) think about the neighborhood you're raising them in. Hilly areas will make it harder... ahem, mom and dad. Actually though, I probably needed the exercise... especially since it was Girl Scout cookie season...
Anyhoo: if you thought the hill was bad, think about a shy 10 year old walking up to the door of a person they only met once before...
There are three things I expect you to take in from this image:
1) It was not a nice feeling, walking up to the door of pretty-much-strangers, especially after we had to watch that movie about "staying away from creepy" in the Brownie's meeting last week... If you've ever been a Girl Scout in the last ten-fifteen years you've seen it: the girl is playing "Pong" (so maybe 20 years?) and the guy in the gorilla suit comes up to her door but she doesn't open it, because her mom said not to? Come on! You know what I'm talking about! Anyway, it sends mixed messages to ten year-olds who are creeped out by the creeper, just because of the gorilla suit... moving on from that;

2) I told you I can draw! I know the first couple images were really bad, but that was totally on purpose. You can just ask my coffee cup, from which I glugged (totally a word) coffee at 11pm while I was trying to draw this and stay awake for Saturday Night Live...

3) Mini Fire Breathing Dragons ARE AWESOME (I was going to write kick-a... but then I realized that my New Year's/Mid-January resolution was not to swear... so... let's see how long this lasts) AND I FEEL AS THOUGH SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, IS SELLING THEM ON EBAY FOR $0.99 AND I SHOULD GO BUY ONE... BECAUSE, REALLY, WHO NEEDS A MINI-FIRE-BREATHING-DRAGON? ME! JUST THINK, INSTEAD OF TAKING MY DOG FOR A WALK, I COULD TAKE MY MINI-FIRE-BREATHING-DRAGON. I COULD NAME IT HAROLD! Actually, Harold the pig, as you might know, would be very offended by that... hmmm... let's go with BUDDY! BUDDY THE MINI-FIRE-BREATHING-DRAGON. OH MY GOSH... THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN.

PLEASE EXCUSE ME, I HAVE TO GO SEACH EBAY...
DARN YOU EBAY
Also, if you click that link, please do not sue me if something frightening shows up. As of approximately 4:36pm on Thursday, there was nothing on that page (except a Monopoly figure... don't really know how that's relevant...)
But as we all know... it's eBay, after all. Anything could happen...

Now I'm depressed. Please, let me know if you find where I can find a mini-fire-breathing-dragon, because that would make my day...
-A.

ps. Thanks for reading!

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