Saturday, December 29, 2012

In Other News...

Post-Post Note (as in, pre blog post note)

So I wrote this post a few weeks ago, but was not able to post until today.
Of course, since we're talking about the HRH the royal baby, I must point out that my deepest condolences to everyone harmed by the phone call scandal.

-A.




Maybe you hadn't heard this yet (fat chance!), but the Duchess of Cambridge, Catherine Middleton, is pregnant. 

While most people are immersed royal baby fever, I had another idea:

Being the Royal Baby Wouldn't Be That Much Fun All the Time


Being HRH the Royal Baby of Cambridge would seem to be a pretty cool job/lifestyle. But think, for a moment, about your own, well, babyhood? Is that a thing? Anyway  you know how your parents took that gross picture of your while you were eating, and you've got food smeared on every orifice of your body? It usually looks a little like this: 
Everyone knows the actual thoughts of everyone else in the picture:
If you're royal, I assume your version of this time honored picture will look like this: 
Not a whole lot different, right? So, you end up having that same embarrassing picture as everyone else on earth... and then your royal parents text/email/send it via snail-mail it to one of their friends... because they're normal parents after all, and so they see nothing wrong with it. 
But they send the picture to someone they will later learn they can't trust, because this friend ends up at the tabloid's office the next day:
Well, being a tabloid, they'll publish it (don't sue me! that's the point of a tabloid!):
(if you can't read the fancy handwriting at the bottom it says, "The Fateful Magazine Cover")
So, then, everyone in the world can see that awful picture, instead of just a few friends of HRH the baby's parent... 
This means that all HRH the baby's future school mates (among others) wil be able to see it:
This picture haunts the poor "HRH the baby" (really, how else am I supposed to refer to he/she?) and drives it (sorry to the un-human sort of "it", I got tired of going through the whole, "he/she" thing) to almost insanity. It's bad enough when annoying parents send their friends such pictures, but who wants the whole world to see such a thing?!
But as the years go on, everyone forgets the existence of such a picture and "the royal baby" goes on in life (as "the royal adult", I suppose)... and "the royal adult" is able to continue it's life somewhat normally:
As HRH the adult/baby makes its way through its first Official Royal Tour of a Bunch of Countries, everything goes pretty well, and the HRH adult/baby thinks to itself, "everyone must have forgotten that awful picture by now!"
But such things are never true with the royal family:
A young child approaches HRH the adult/baby and asks for an autograph. "Sure!" a happy HRH adult/baby replies (that didn't really flow so well), excited that it has caused such excitement. What HRH the adult/baby fails to realize, is that the paper being signed is a copy of the tabloid with the first official leaked photos of HRH the adult/baby itself (I'm going back to HRH the baby):
Needless to say, as HRH the baby goes to autograph the paper, it becomes infuriated upon seeing the same awful picture, and throws a full on adult fit. Everyone just stands there, awkwardly, and stares, and then HRH the baby understands what has happened and feels really awkward, too.

Aren't we all so glad we're not the royal baby now?

(c) 2012, by A.
All the drawings writing used here are of my own design. Yeah, the frames were supposed to look like old Polaroids, but they don't...
Two notes on my use of tabloid:
A. I misspelled it a lot, "talbloid" is incorrect, "tabloid" is the correct spelling of said word.
B. "Tabloid Today" is no real newspaper/online source, according to my Google search, which is good, because I didn't mean for it to be a real paper, I just needed a fake tabloid name.
Cool.
Please don't seal my images without my permission, otherwise the plagiarism dinosaur will eat you...


Feel free to leave a comment or reaction below...
Thanks for reading,
A.

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